day 20: its time to face the truth.

So it really is time to face the facts and be honst with myself as well as the people who support me and also read my blog. I keep painting a picture i think, painting this picture of what i want everyone to see, but i think its also a picture i want to see, maybe if i make myself see a "picture" i will start to believe it. I keep saying I am not working out as much as I like, but the truth is I am really not working out at all, and i keeping fooling myself with this whole eating thing. If you order off the "healthy" menu does not mean you can eat as much as you want and it will be fine. I feel very lost in my life in a lot of reasons, be completely uncomfortable with myself is one of those things, I am very lost in life and also in school. I recently dressed up for a halloween party, and was so uncomfortable with myself i felt like a fool, getting dressed up and then looking around me and seeing everyone look thin and sexy and then there was me. feeling like an frompy fool, I look around me and see poeple who will be starting their careers in just s few months or a year and i look around and say wow i still have four years till i come close to my career. Do i even want to be a nurse? how does anyone know what they want to be? do you just know? because i really dont know. So im being honest. please give me some feed back. I am very confused in life and things I am so uncomfortable with how i look but i feel like I have felt this way for years now so why arent I changing things. UHHHH im frustrated, can you tell... Any help??? (oh and sorry, no picture tonight)